Chris rock on dating
If she tells you she's 26 and looks 26, she's damn near 40.
If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16, she's 12.
Niggas that live next door to you break into your house, come over the next day and go, "I heard you got robbed." Nigga, you know you robbed me. A nigga will brag about some shit a normal man just does.
'Cause niggas is shooting at the screen, "This movie's so good I gotta bust a cap in here! Niggas always want credit for some shit they supposed to do. You're not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherfucker!
Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to. A black C student can't be a manager at Burger King, meanwhile a white C student just happens to be the President of the United States.
Every time someone gets shot, people will be like, "Damn, he must have did something. " Niggers will say "I would blow your fucking head off--if I could afford it! Chris Rock (Bigger and Blacker) A bunch of girls say, "You don't need no man to help you raise no child" shut the fuck up with the bullshit!
'Cause if a bullet costs 00, there'd be no more innocent bystanders.
The machine is like, "You better go see a teller." You ever go to a teller and try to take out eight dollars and fifty cents? " I'm not talkin' about Lionel Richie, I'm talkin' about them shiny niggas behind him!
And if you got less than twenty dollars, the machine won't even talk to you. I know that ain't that black here, but in America that's about as black as a name could get. But as soon as you hear "Barack Obama"..expect to see a brother with a spear! [sings and mimes playing bass] "Too hot ta trot, now, baby, too hot ta trot, bay-by!